Saturday, 21 May 2016

New beginnings

It was mid 2014 when the bombshell dropped.
And I don't mean little bombshell like, "What, no ice cream left?!" Although to be fair, that is a tragedy.
No folks, I mean BIG, life changing, world upending, you name it.
Let me set the scene. I was in my final year at university, I had a job I enjoyed, great people around me with my love life getting better by the day. I was happy. Or was I just comfortable?
Well anyway, I settling down for bed in my family home when my boyfriend rings. Nothing unusual there, except his tone tells me somethings up. After much sighing and mumbling, 'Bad news love, when my visa runs out I can't apply for a new one straight away like we thought.'
Hmm, minor setback, I think. So what, he can just fly home to New Zealand, get a new one and be back with me in England in a few weeks? 'Erm no, immigration says I have to be away from England for two years before I can apply again.'
Sorry, what?
So this was the bombshell. We hadn't been dating long enough to consider a long-distance relationship, let alone one spanning the entire globe. I had two choices. Go our separate ways perhaps wondering what could of been, or maybe we'd just go back to 'life before' and be happy. Or I could leave everything behind and follow him to New Zealand.
My mother cried. Can I just point out here that before this I couldn't even make it from London to Brighton without getting lost. Apart from the worry of losing her daughter abroad, I think there was a genuine worry that I would actually get lost and spend the rest of my days stuck in an airport. Knowing me, I probably wouldn't make it out of Gatwick alone. As it happens I made it to Dubai before getting lost, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
For a while I genuinely didn't know what to do. I am a creature of habit, the worst thing you could do to me was introduce change and stick me in a room full of strangers. Yet something in me wondered, what if?
I was happy with my life but I was restless. Through no fault of anyone, I actually wanted something different. I didn't know what, but I knew I didn't just want more of the same, even if I was putting my happiness, relationships and possibly sanity on the line for it.
I don't remember when it was that I decided to go but I knew I was scared. Scared to do what I needed. What if I hated it, what if his family an friends didn't like me, what would I miss out on at home?
Then that little voice in our heads that so many of us ignore said, 'F*** it, you're going!'
So I did.
New Zealand here I come!

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